The Family Jungle at Christmastime

I'm struck every Christmas that I really couldn't tell you definitively who is and isn't part of our family. With whom do we have meaningful connections?

It's a little gray, really. I spent tonight driving 40 miles round-trip to visit my step niece-in-law and her premature twins at a hospital, per the request of her concerned mother and auntie. Technically former step niece-in-law, as my husband's stepmom passed away some years ago. Until tonight, I didn't know these little twins' mom was expecting again. Meanwhile, I don't receive or send a single Christmas card from any of my 63 Irish-American first cousins. Who is family, and who isn't?

This is a Mexican-American family that wears their hearts on their sleeves. They give and expect family loyalty from even shirttail relations. I have to say: I like their style. It's not my birth family's style by any stretch, but I like it.

It's become very apparent that the holidays are stressful for many people, not just cocoa and gift wrapping--between my husband and me, we have one good friend hospitalized with depression; one grandparent hospitalized with a stroke; one baby step nephew seriously ill; one great step aunt recovering from surgery; and one uncle hospitalized with a heart attack. The holidays can be hard on families!

I doubt I'll ever be able to make a list of exactly who I consider our family, but I do hope it's a list that will grow, not shrink, over time. We watched the fascinating documentary Sicko recently, and I'm struck that Americans are so busy working and trying to take care of their families singlehandedly, with very few social supports, that we have little opportunity to enjoy our nuclear families, let alone former step-nieces-in-law in their times of need. I'm hoping to learn some more lessons from this particular branch of our family forest!

Community Is A Quirky Thing

Yesterday was our monthly lunch/speaker series at work. It's always a village effort to feed about 50 neighbors 65+, about 1/3 receiving rides from our volunteer drivers. It's almost always an inspiring symbiosis of personalities and effort, yesterday in particular.

This event, in addition to the diverse collection of luncheon guests, featured live Irish music; Irish step dancing; 20 elementary students from the neighborhood Quaker school who joined us to watch the entertainment; and at least three Jewish volunteers/guests who graciously listened to the talented musicians' explicitly Christian Irish and Scottish folk songs without complaint.

Knowing much about the challenges and sadness in the personal lives of many of our guests--a number who have spent time in transitional care centers (nursing homes) but returned home, a number currently in treatment for depression--made it extra poignant to observe their enjoyment of the quirky drama that is our "Second Tuesday" luncheon.

This blog is to salute all the people who find inspiration to be generous to others in the holiday season, and the other 11 months of the year. I'm still smiling thinking of the quirky quilt that is this neighborhood event.