Generations, Rural/Urban Balance

I'm feeling a little sentimental after a week in my Midwestern hometown for Thanksgiving. There's nothing like hearing my dad say he ate "Manchurian-some-dam*-thing" at the Chinese restaurant or seeing my niece perform in a play at my old high school. Even though I elect to live in a city 400 miles away, I value feeling rooted to this place. My husband sat through 1.5 hours of family slides spanning 50 years and four generations. These are iconic family images firmly burned into my brain, not unlike the branded calves featured in some, and somehow, having seen them, I think he's more deeply ensnared in the family web. At one point during the slide saga, our five year-old's cousins tried to entice her to play, and she refused, declaring righteously, "No! I've always wanted to see what it was like when my mommy grew up!" She is an endearing little suck-up, that one.

I should mention that it's all a little extra bittersweet because our mom passed on about 2.5 years ago. Connecting to my hometown is connecting to where she lived almost her entire life. I'm appreciating people there, including my aunts, uncles and cousins, more than I ever could as a stir-crazy teenager eager to move on. So much of what we urban yuppie parents work so hard to recapture is so innate there--community, tradition, belonging to a spiritual/religious group, firmly defined values, kids doing meaningful work at an early age, storytelling, fresh air and time outside. Not all of their firmly defined values are still mine today, and some new ones I've come to feel strongly about aren't as easy to locate there as some places, but I admire them still.

It takes constant mindfulness to retain the best of our parents' and grandparents' lifestyles, while being open to the contributions of our children and grandchildren. I love hearing my moms' brothers say my three year-old looks just like their late grandma. I muddle this balancing act of the best of the old and new all the time; I'm just grateful I have inspiring examples before me, and after me, to work with.